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I see your true colors1/16/2024 There is one picture I have that I actually think she’s almost “live” in the picture. Sometimes when I get drunk, I’ll look at old pictures of us. She’s the only person that made me smile the way I did. Smiling a lot different than how we used to smile before. “ don’t be unhappy, I can’t remember when I last saw you smile.” I look at pictures from me and my ex, and I see we were smiling a lot. Heavy D from Middle Class UsaReally good lyrics.Her and I had a totally different relationship. I think about that kind of stuff when I’m high on weed, or I’m up at 3 AM in the middle of the night with the coyotes and the rabbits and no one else around, or when I’m drunk once a week. It’s always been me watching out for me, kind of my own best trait vs worse trait. She’s a good lady and she deserves to be happy. I know we had frustrations from other problems before that, but that’s no excuse on my part. I screamed at her real bad once and I feel bad about that. I have to feel like seven or eight things at once to feel comfortable with someone and come inside them. She knew me and I never forgot that comment about the colors. Does it matter? Not really, same message. “ I wonder if she was telling me that as a words of affirmation, or if she was saying that just a statement. She would tell me stuff like “Franco you’re very gentle with me, you’re very patient with me. I was real affectionate with her and felt good. To me, she is a loving person and a very affectionate person and she wants someone to kind of unlock that within her and let her be that in return. Like I could be real affectionate with her because she was real affectionate with me. I felt loving, young, and carefree with her. I felt that way with her especially when we were on our outings. Forever Young Franco.” I still have it on my dresser. She gave me a card one time that said “I still appreciate your packages and cards you sent my way. I could drop my guard with her and be more loving, affectionate and carefree. I feel so much.” She told me she’s able to feel other people’s energy more so than normal. She told me a long time ago : “sometimes you appear sad Franco. It was warm, it was affectionate, it was comforting, it was loving, it was sexy. I know that won’t happen, but my spirit says she has to finish that book. She used to read this book for me called “1001 Arabian nights”. She used to tell me in bed : “you have strong colors Franco.” She would look right at my chest and she would say “you have strong colors, they are clear.” I would ask her what are bad colors and she told me if “they’re murky.” Yours are never murky.” Nobody ever talked to me like that before. Back at my old townhome, not the one I have now but the one before that.
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